Monday, February 21, 2011

Poo on you.

Disclaimer: If you have a weak stomach or just don't want to read about my issues with poo, you can skip this one.

Tonight I lost it over poo. Nasty, huge, globby poo, but poo none the less. I really hate it when I totally wig out at my kids. I feel horrible, but in the moment it feels like I just can't handle anymore.

As many of you know I am still having to deal with potty training issues when it comes to my third child. For some reason, children with Aspergers tend to have more bowl/bladder issues than the average kid. There seems to be some sort of brain bowel disconnect. Al, unfortunately is one of the many children with bathroom issues. For the first 3 years of his life we did the normal diaper thing, then at 3 he was totally potty trained. He then had a surgery and that set him back about 6 months but by 4 he was totally potty trained. This continued until he started kindergarten at which point he began to have acciedents.

This trend continued and progressively got worse the older he has gotten. So you fast forward to today and I have now been dealing with Alex poop for 8 of the 10 years that he has been on this earth. This has become very, very tiring. I get so tired of finding poopie underwear stuffed behind doors, smears on the walls from where it has been thrown into a pile or stepping in leftovers on the floor from were stuff has leaked out.

It is just plain gross. I also know that he is not trying to poop his pants, but there has to be some responsiblity when it comes to taking care of the mess. This all leads us to earlier today. Al had an acciedent. Okay. Clean it up. (Meaning washout you underwear in the toilet and throw it in the dirty laundry basket.) Okay Mom. Twenty minutes later I come up to find his underwear in the laundry basket full of poo, with crap smeared down my wall from were he had tossed it in.

He got called in and I proceeded to drop the mess back into the toilet and told him to wash it out. Instead of me standing there gagging as he did this, I naivily leave thinking that it will be done, he has had a lot of practice. But no. It is not done. Fast forward to bed time when Sam informs me that there is a ton of poo in the toilet. I ask well Al did you get the underwear out and clean? Of course my other kids couldn't go use one of the other two bathrooms in this house, they had to use the one with nasty underwear in it. Making it considerably more nasty.

That is when I lost it. Totally and Completely over the top. Standing there, dry heaving over the thick, globby mess that I had to fished out of the toilet was my breaking point. They did go to bed easier but I think it was because they sensed that my fragile hold on sanity was very tenuous and that it would take nothing to push me over the edge.

I just don't know what they think sometimes. I am just so sick of poo (by the way I do know all the technical terms when it comes to pee and poo, but I am tired and just don't care to be that formal about something that gross when I am not sitting in a doctors office).

I am sick of it being all over my house, I am sick of having to deal with it every single day for the last 13 years (between all the little ones I've had in diapers and Alex's issues), I am just plain sick and it just never seems to get better. (We are going to specialists but it doesn't make it any easier on a day to day basis.) I get discouraged at the drawn out process all of this seems to take and I know that someday it will all get figured out, but today was definitely  not that day.


Nana S. said...

Just want you to know, you have my empathy and we are keeping you in our prayers as you struggle with a challenge most of us cannot even imagine. I am however quite familiar with it as I also have a grand-nephew who lives with his mother and grand-parents and also has the same problems. He is now a middle school honors student. You might see him on fb one in awhile. His name is Jay. Lots of love to each of you.

Michelle said...

Oh stacie I sense your total frustration, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I know I have come to moments with total frustration and there is nothing I can do except cry a lot which I think helps. I feel for you and am thinking of you and praying for you that you will be able to edure this and hopefully things will get better. My heart goes out to you right now. Love you

Jenn said...

That's hard Stacie :/ ::huggs:: I hope you have a better day today!

Debbie Murdock said...

I can relate in some small way what your going through. I practically raised my little brother with Aspergers and bodily functions things seems unsurmountable. He would actually escape out of the house and while looking for him we would find evidence of where he had been in the neighboring apartment complexes. More often than not the police would end up bringing him home. It will get better I hope you can hang in there.

My nephew(he's older too) leaves "poocaso's" every where...some my sister doesn't even find until some months later in the corner of the ceiling. Hope you're week gets better!!! And I agree with the previous comment...crying actually does help. It helps you clear your head and release the frustration so you can plan your next move. TAKE CARE!!!!

Katrina said...

sorry Stacie it is so hard and yet I know for Alex it isn't what he wants either, he just isn't quiet there to get it together. Hang in there and have Faith that this too will pass, because it will some day. But you may have many more of these days before then. Love ya,

Teri said...

Sending lots of hugs your way!! Sorry for all your frustrations.. you are a great writer tho.. you should write a book!!

Krista said...

Oh, Stacie, I'm so sorry... I know how fed-up we got with Kiddo's refusal to poop on the toilet, and I can't imagine dealing with it for years and years like that. *hugs*

Do you know whether it's a physiological or psychological issue? Whatever the underlying cause, he's probably extra-senstive to sensory stuff, and poo is a pretty strong sensory aversion... that might at least explain why he's so reticent to deal with it at all... not that that makes it any easier for you to deal with, but at least it's not just him deliberately being horrid, you know?

I would've cried, too. Loudly, and long-ly. Among other things, probably including smashed objects and a number of (quasi-?)swear words. I'm so sorry... *more hugs*

Megs said...

OH sweetie!!! I am so sorry that poor Al and Al's MOM are having such a hard time with this! :( It just stinks...literally!!! ;( I know it doesn't fix the problem but I am glad that you shared with us, I will keep you in my prayers! I don't have HALF your excuse and sometimes I TOTALLY LOSE it with the kids. I will try to keep my temper and keep things in perspective, but sometimes we just reach our breaking point you know?
It is funny that after I lose it the kids behave VEEEEEERY well, heh heh heh, I think they are scared of pushing me! MUH-WAH-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha! ;D I love you girl! Have you looked into any kind of support group or website in dealing with Aspergers and the problems that come with it? Not to mention to KEEP your sanity? Hang in there, you are AMAZING and will CONQUER ALL!!! (hummm...too dramatic ya think??? ;D)
Love, Megs

AJ said...

I'm sorry, Stacie. Hugs