Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Proper Way to Eat a Cinnamon Gummy Bear


 Some women crave chocolate.

Some women crave fries.

I crave Cinnamon Gummy Bears.
There is an art to eating these delectable bites. You have to be careful because they have eyes. 

First I will start with what is not to be done.

Case in point...
When you take off just one appendage at a time, they begin to scream in agony! You have now become a heartless gummy shark, letting the poor thing suffer in needless agony.
Prolonged suffering does not seem to take away from their deliciousness, but more experiments should be done.
Once all of the body and limbs are gone, what's left just becomes very disturbing.
 Those sightless eyes,
that mocking grin...
"How Could YOU eat me?!"
Now this is just cruel and unusual punishment. 
Can you say "ZOMBIE GUMMIES"!
Truly the only humane way to eat a gummy is by decisive decapitation.
It is quick,
it is painless,
and it allows you to eat the rest of the body at your leisure.
Don't let it be said that you were never taught the proper way to eat a cinnamon gummy bear. 
Be warned, if you eat to many bodies, then the heads will come after....
YOU!
BBBWWWAAAHHahahahHa!!


 (All gummies used in this blog, donated their bodies to science.)

7 comments:

housewife said...

Lol....ummmmmm....I'm not sure whether to laugh or look into psyche wards;)

The Crazy Heads said...

I feel so much more informed now. Thank you for your guidance. Now I'm hungry. Thanks a lot!

Shannon Lytle said...

You're funny. =)
I like the part about the sightless eyes... I'm sure to have nightmares tonight. AAAACK!

Nana S. said...

Cruel and unusual Rx of the gummy bear.....how could you????

Debbie Murdock said...

hee hee hee...the picture of the whole gummy looks like it had a crew cut.

Katrina said...

Was it a slow day Stacie??? :) poor bears.. but you do seem to love them. Good job on this one.

Megs said...

BEST. BLOG. POST. IN. THE. HISTORY. OF. BLOG. POSTS.
I totally FREAKIN'love you.
;D