Disclaimer: If you have a weak stomach or just don't want to read about my issues with poo, you can skip this one.
Tonight I lost it over poo. Nasty, huge, globby poo, but poo none the less. I really hate it when I totally wig out at my kids. I feel horrible, but in the moment it feels like I just can't handle anymore.
As many of you know I am still having to deal with potty training issues when it comes to my third child. For some reason, children with Aspergers tend to have more bowl/bladder issues than the average kid. There seems to be some sort of brain bowel disconnect. Al, unfortunately is one of the many children with bathroom issues. For the first 3 years of his life we did the normal diaper thing, then at 3 he was totally potty trained. He then had a surgery and that set him back about 6 months but by 4 he was totally potty trained. This continued until he started kindergarten at which point he began to have acciedents.
This trend continued and progressively got worse the older he has gotten. So you fast forward to today and I have now been dealing with Alex poop for 8 of the 10 years that he has been on this earth. This has become very, very tiring. I get so tired of finding poopie underwear stuffed behind doors, smears on the walls from where it has been thrown into a pile or stepping in leftovers on the floor from were stuff has leaked out.
It is just plain gross. I also know that he is not trying to poop his pants, but there has to be some responsiblity when it comes to taking care of the mess. This all leads us to earlier today. Al had an acciedent. Okay. Clean it up. (Meaning washout you underwear in the toilet and throw it in the dirty laundry basket.) Okay Mom. Twenty minutes later I come up to find his underwear in the laundry basket full of poo, with crap smeared down my wall from were he had tossed it in.
He got called in and I proceeded to drop the mess back into the toilet and told him to wash it out. Instead of me standing there gagging as he did this, I naivily leave thinking that it will be done, he has had a lot of practice. But no. It is not done. Fast forward to bed time when Sam informs me that there is a ton of poo in the toilet. I ask well Al did you get the underwear out and clean? Uh..no. Of course my other kids couldn't go use one of the other two bathrooms in this house, they had to use the one with nasty underwear in it. Making it considerably more nasty.
That is when I lost it. Totally and Completely over the top. Standing there, dry heaving over the thick, globby mess that I had to fished out of the toilet was my breaking point. They did go to bed easier but I think it was because they sensed that my fragile hold on sanity was very tenuous and that it would take nothing to push me over the edge.
I just don't know what they think sometimes. I am just so sick of poo (by the way I do know all the technical terms when it comes to pee and poo, but I am tired and just don't care to be that formal about something that gross when I am not sitting in a doctors office).
I am sick of it being all over my house, I am sick of having to deal with it every single day for the last 13 years (between all the little ones I've had in diapers and Alex's issues), I am just plain sick and it just never seems to get better. (We are going to specialists but it doesn't make it any easier on a day to day basis.) I get discouraged at the drawn out process all of this seems to take and I know that someday it will all get figured out, but today was definitely not that day.