Change is the catch phrase of my life at the moment. Everything seems to be in flux and it has been hard to deal with all that has been happening in such a short period of time. I am an adult and logically understand the reason for all these changes, even with that I have still struggled. It has been doubly compounded for my kids. There is all this worry and excitement and sadness all wrapped up in one and each of my kids are handling it their own ways.
For Alex especially change is hard, but lately he has seen more than his fair share of hardship. Between his best friend Jacob moving, being without his councilor for 3 months, dealing with the move, having a ton of doctor appointments, and having Marc and Hannah gone up north already, he has been coping remarkably well.
Unfortunately today was the last straw. It is the smallest things that sometimes seem to trigger all those pent up emotions and for Al it was having to hold a stupid looking piece of gauze in his mouth after having some cavities filled so he wouldn't bite his numb tongue. He just cried and cried. I had him spit it out and we fixed it but my heart just broke a little. He let me hold his hand most of the way home.
I find that it is these times when it is the most hard to be here without Marc. The hurts that I can not mend lead to more of my own tears. I suppose that is the plite of all mothers to ache for their children.