Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Marked

Too Scar: A mark left after an injury, a lingering sign of damage or injury. Funny things scars. I have been thinking about them of late. My hands are covered with lots of old scars. I am always burning them on something. There is more than one on there from my repeated attempts to sacrifice them at the alter of the oven. Then there is the one on my right index finger. It is much larger than the rest and indelibly burned into my memory, as I laid it into synthetic hair and hot glue when I 7 or 8. You tend to remember when you adhere your fingers together with searing glue. :P Then there is the scars that crisscross my belly from having the kids. Those came along to make room for the new life that was growing inside of me. Every kick and push delighted me, that growing belly of mine. They will stay with me, a permanent reminder of times that brought me some of my greatest joy but was also when I have come closest to leaving this world. Then there are those scars that no one can see...the ones that mark the soul and get pried open from time to time. It is those scars that I fight against the most. Legacies of the past that rear their heads in the now. These scars will someday be wiped clean by our Saviors atonement. On that day I will be without all of the baggage that I have to fight against to be a good wife and mother. On that day I will be whole. But until that day I have to work at taking my scars for what they are ... reminders of a suffering endured, a miracle of healing, and a gift that allows me to continually work at reaching my full potential.

4 comments:

Becky said...

Loved this post. xoxo

Three Catanzaros said...

I think it's not good for you to be left alone:) too much thinking:)

AJ said...

Those emotional scars can be relieved as soon as you're willing to give them up. I handed off a few of mine in the last 2 years, and life is so wonderful. I have the experience gained and none of the pain because of the atonement. I just wish the physical scars would disappear that quickly.

Katrina said...

I love the cross stitch it is coming along so well.... hope your day was a good one and classes went well.